Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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