I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
