woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
