So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
