I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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