He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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