You smell like stripper and shame
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
