You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize