Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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