I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
