I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he puts the penis in happiness.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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