Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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