i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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