I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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