remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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