she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
