You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
