the condom got lost in my hair
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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