he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i think my cat just said my name.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
