just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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