Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
