They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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