He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
