Buhtt sex?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
