found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
