AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
