none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
