dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
being pregnant is like rehab
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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