I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
