well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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