Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
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I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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