I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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