is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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