I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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