Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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