Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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