Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
