PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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