Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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