So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
