I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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