I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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