i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize