Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
