chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
