where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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