sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
