is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
