Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's blow job season.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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