i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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