Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your cock deserves a montage
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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