We named our party play list daddy issues
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.