I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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