he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
