I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
