Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
