It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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