Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
