there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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