Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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