I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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