I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
