Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
