butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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